Inception Didn't Even Call Me The Next Day

So a lot of people have been talking about this movie Inception. I saw it, opening night, midnight, with work at 7:00 a.m the next day. I know, it's because I care. I think one of my favorite parts was when everyone in the movie theater was really into the trailer for Devil, then after we all found out it was done by M. Night Shamalamadingdong we all booed it. You could put that guy's name on anything and we'd hate it. He can make any movie and nobody would see it. Except for those douchebags who are still seeing his movies hoping they will be as good as The Sixth Sense. Really? The Village and The Happening did ruin him enough. He somehow got to do Avatar: The Last Airbender, but even in 3-D and with the guy from Slumdog Millionaire in it the movie still got terrible reviews. To be honest, I hated it. To be honest again I haven't even seen it and I can still say I hated it. I'm sure the only people who saw it thought that it was James Cameron's Avatar, which is one of the best movies I've ever seen. Avatar: The Last Airbender is a steal of Superman, anyways. But then again Avatar is a steal of Pochahontas, but it was still incredible. Speaking of steal did anybody hear Love the Way You Lie by Eminem and Rihanna? They should've said they sampled the guitar from Howie Day's song Collide. Sure it's a basic chord progression many have used, but come on, at least give it a different rhythm. Maybe Howie Day and Eminem and Rihanna will Collide in court over that one. See what I did there? I know, I'm awesome. Wait, what was this blog about, oh yeah.

So Inception is all about dreams. If I met Christopher Nolan I would ask him a couple questions about the movie. One of them would be: when Leo and Ellen were in the ocean, did that count as their wet dreams? And why wasn't Susan Boyle's I Dreamed a Dream in the movie. That song has the perfect lyrics for it. I also wonder if he thought about maybe even using Juicy, by the Notorious B.I.G. I guess I'm just being a music critic, because as much as movies are my life, so is music. The sound to that movie was great, though. I feel asleep a few times, but it was never for long, because the IMAX loudness kept waking me up. Or maybe I was asleep for longer and the whole movie was a dream, and maybe I'm still dreaming. Isn't life just a long dream? I know, it makes you think.

This movie is quite the mind fuck. Apparently a lot of women walked out of the movie theater pregnant after seeing it. With that said Christopher Nolan is titling the sequel Contraception. I know, I should probably write those one liners for talk show hosts. What's that you say, you think I should have my own talk show? Thanks! Hopefully I will one day. You're all invited to the first night.

If you haven't seen this movie yet, go see it. Right now. Or right after you finish reading this and reflect on how funny and genius it is. I hope I didn't give away too much, even though I'd love to tell you about how they all die at that end. What? Oh, no. That's not really the end, or is it? I hate when people tell you all about a movie and then you don't even want to see it anymore, not only because they probably gave away the best parts, but because their impressions and storytelling sucked. You know what else I hate, when people "magically" find money. "Whoa, I just found $20 in my pocket!" Wow! I wonder who put it there. Maybe it was the money leprechaun. Or maybe you put it there. I don't go around saying "whoa, I just found pants on my legs!"

The only reason I would say don't see Inception is because the next few movies you walk out of you will say "It was good, but it wasn't Inception. But it's worth it. It's like hanging out with a really cool person, and then hanging out with a person who's just alright. You think, yeah, this person is cool, but not as cool as the other one. But if you say someone is alright, you're really saying they are a piece of shit. It's like calling someone homely, it's just a nice way of saying they're ugly. Using "alright" and "homely" is even worse than just telling like it is.

Now I'm off to the bar to have some beers and wings, and pretend I'm manly. I think there might be a game on. Red Sox or something. The World Cup may even still be on for all I know. That shit was like the Olympics. It never ended, people wouldn't shut up about it, and it made me hate sports even more.

Now go see Inception. Every time I tell you to see it I get paid for it. Not really, but everytime I use the word "fuck" I
get paid for it. And I can use it in any way, like "I'm a funny mother fucker," and "I bet you can't fucking wait for my next blog."

-Mikey

Pictures I've Taken This Summer

I have taken many pictures this summer on my phone. What I like about these kinds of pictures is they weren't planned. It's not like taking a camera to some big event, it's just doing stupid stuff or noticing something cool while out somewhere. This post is just going to have some of these pictures with some thoughts, while some other posts will have a recent thought of mine or what not. Enjoy.

Some people like to put Silly Bandz on their wrists or even trade them. I like to write dirty words with them and then sign it with my initials

This is an event I would love to volunteer at

This is a jar of pickles that is not politically correct. They should change the name to: Sweet Little People

This is me holding a condiment jar that has my initials on it. If only I copyrighted my initials then I could be making a lot of money off of these assholes

That's what she said

The girl in blue is Rebecca Zeller. She is the violinist for the band Ra Ra Riot. I fell in love with her at a festival I went to in May. I will marry her

This is at the same festival. The artist Girl Talk was playing. The show was incredible. I danced a lot. Usually when girls talk I don't want to dance, I want to walk away

This is also at the same festival, this is when 30 Seconds to Mars was playing their song Kings and Queens. The music video takes place at sunset as well. Some may call that a coincidence, but I use the words "pretty fucking awesome" instead

This is in one of my dorms at my school. The stairs lead to nowhere. This dorm is haunted. The haunted dorms are really one of the only things I like at my school. I don't know if it's worth the $38,ooo, though

This is vodka that has the same name as my college. I think it was made by a company who knew alcohol was the only fun way to have a good time at our school. They were right

These are some ducks who wandered into my backyard. My friend, Ivan, and I tried to help them after they got stuck somewhere. Instead we made it worse for them. The moral of the story is sometimes we need to stop helping animals and just eat them

This is what they used to call your mom in college

What's more fun than mini golfing? Mini golfing on a hole that is shaped like a penis!

This is a picture represents beauty being fenced in by something. Everyone can be beautiful if they learn to hop that fence. Maybe Mexicans are looking to be beautiful

This shows how our country rushes things. Hey, here's some patriotism, but someone get in here and wash our dishes for us

This is how to tell your loved one how much you care about him or her. Say it with flowers. Or say it with soda from an Asian restaurant

This guy is obviously a drug dealer. And by that I mean it's a little too obvious that he is a drug dealer. Advertising is great for most business, but not that one

While in Boston I got to audition for the new Fast and the Furious movie. It's going to be called 2 Fast 2 Curious

This is me fist pumping outside of Ed Hardy. If I ever have to write another paper about someone who changed the world I'd write about Christian Audigier. He brought out the douche in many people, and that counts for something.

This is my Asian friend, Justin. This is him in China Town standing on the yellow line. Think about it. It's funny because it's racist.