So a lot of people have been talking about this movie Inception. I saw it, opening night, midnight, with work at 7:00 a.m the next day. I know, it's because I care. I think one of my favorite parts was when everyone in the movie theater was really into the trailer for Devil, then after we all found out it was done by M. Night Shamalamadingdong we all booed it. You could put that guy's name on anything and we'd hate it. He can make any movie and nobody would see it. Except for those douchebags who are still seeing his movies hoping they will be as good as The Sixth Sense. Really? The Village and The Happening did ruin him enough. He somehow got to do Avatar: The Last Airbender, but even in 3-D and with the guy from Slumdog Millionaire in it the movie still got terrible reviews. To be honest, I hated it. To be honest again I haven't even seen it and I can still say I hated it. I'm sure the only people who saw it thought that it was James Cameron's Avatar, which is one of the best movies I've ever seen. Avatar: The Last Airbender is a steal of Superman, anyways. But then again Avatar is a steal of Pochahontas, but it was still incredible. Speaking of steal did anybody hear Love the Way You Lie by Eminem and Rihanna? They should've said they sampled the guitar from Howie Day's song Collide. Sure it's a basic chord progression many have used, but come on, at least give it a different rhythm. Maybe Howie Day and Eminem and Rihanna will Collide in court over that one. See what I did there? I know, I'm awesome. Wait, what was this blog about, oh yeah.
So Inception is all about dreams. If I met Christopher Nolan I would ask him a couple questions about the movie. One of them would be: when Leo and Ellen were in the ocean, did that count as their wet dreams? And why wasn't Susan Boyle's I Dreamed a Dream in the movie. That song has the perfect lyrics for it. I also wonder if he thought about maybe even using Juicy, by the Notorious B.I.G. I guess I'm just being a music critic, because as much as movies are my life, so is music. The sound to that movie was great, though. I feel asleep a few times, but it was never for long, because the IMAX loudness kept waking me up. Or maybe I was asleep for longer and the whole movie was a dream, and maybe I'm still dreaming. Isn't life just a long dream? I know, it makes you think.
This movie is quite the mind fuck. Apparently a lot of women walked out of the movie theater pregnant after seeing it. With that said Christopher Nolan is titling the sequel Contraception. I know, I should probably write those one liners for talk show hosts. What's that you say, you think I should have my own talk show? Thanks! Hopefully I will one day. You're all invited to the first night.
If you haven't seen this movie yet, go see it. Right now. Or right after you finish reading this and reflect on how funny and genius it is. I hope I didn't give away too much, even though I'd love to tell you about how they all die at that end. What? Oh, no. That's not really the end, or is it? I hate when people tell you all about a movie and then you don't even want to see it anymore, not only because they probably gave away the best parts, but because their impressions and storytelling sucked. You know what else I hate, when people "magically" find money. "Whoa, I just found $20 in my pocket!" Wow! I wonder who put it there. Maybe it was the money leprechaun. Or maybe you put it there. I don't go around saying "whoa, I just found pants on my legs!"
The only reason I would say don't see Inception is because the next few movies you walk out of you will say "It was good, but it wasn't Inception. But it's worth it. It's like hanging out with a really cool person, and then hanging out with a person who's just alright. You think, yeah, this person is cool, but not as cool as the other one. But if you say someone is alright, you're really saying they are a piece of shit. It's like calling someone homely, it's just a nice way of saying they're ugly. Using "alright" and "homely" is even worse than just telling like it is.
Now I'm off to the bar to have some beers and wings, and pretend I'm manly. I think there might be a game on. Red Sox or something. The World Cup may even still be on for all I know. That shit was like the Olympics. It never ended, people wouldn't shut up about it, and it made me hate sports even more.
Now go see Inception. Every time I tell you to see it I get paid for it. Not really, but everytime I use the word "fuck" I
get paid for it. And I can use it in any way, like "I'm a funny mother fucker," and "I bet you can't fucking wait for my next blog."
-Mikey
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